Home Articles Why Nice Guys Always Lose
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guy beggingAn average frustrated chump (AFC) or chode is a pussified male, a gopher who feels he must cater to a woman’s every need and becomes supplicated and complacent in his never ending servitude.

This is the type of guy who usually brings candy and flowers on a first date; the guy who makes drawings, writes love poems or songs, or compiles playlists of romantic songs to give to her.

An AFC is the kind of guy who kisses a woman’s hand and ass when first meeting her. He basically will shower her with compliments and smother her with attention to show her how much he cares for her. He is also extremely agreeable, for he does not want to risk upsetting her and jeopardize his good standing with her.

Women, especially hot girls, eat these guys for lunch and treat them like human ashtrays. Why would anyone want this abuse? Chumps are either masochists who enjoy the beratement and psychological abuse or they are too dumb, naive or scared to lose what they believe is the only woman who will ever give them sex. Many times their “girlfriends” aren’t even giving them sex, or if they are, they are doing so infrequently, and as a reward or treat for their loyal servitude.

guy holding her purseThese are the guys whom you see holding their woman’s handbag, buying tampons or other feminine hygiene products at the store, walking a little lapdog with a pink leash or going to see plays operas and chick flicks.

When these guys enter a relationship it’s like they put their testicles in a jar and hand it over to their girlfriend for safekeeping. This is why they are commonly referred to as “manginas.”

Women do not respect these bitch boys, and only tolerate them as long as they serve their purpose to inflate their egos, buy them meals and gifts, and run their errands. As a woman, it’s impossible to respect someone who lets you walk all over him like a doormat.

Chumps are most often transitional stepping stones for women who don’t want to be alone as they search for an alpha male who knows how to make them feel sexy while at the same time put them in their place. What chumps don’t realize is that they are on the express line to being replaced. They go from girl to girl offering their heart and their pride to girls who turn around and transform these genuinely nice guys into whimpering lap dogs at their beckon call. They get played like a fiddle and always come back for more.

chodesUnfortunately, these chodes make it more difficult for regular guys with a backbone to hold their own against the dominating divas and poser princesses they serve. These women have to be retrained into submission; something that is greatly resisted after someone has been kissing their feet all day and worshiping the ground on which they walk.Many of us beta males are civilized and genuinely nice guys. It is important that you don’t allow yourself to be subjugated by an egotistical unforgiving woman. Be a nerdy player, but never a chick’s chump.

To do this you must recognize what is commonly termed a “shit test.” A shit test is a test that a woman will either consciously or subconsciously make you take in order see who holds the power in the relationship. If you don’t recognize or unknowingly fail a woman’s shit test, be prepared to witness an unrelenting barrage of tests designed to allow her to wield her power over you and demonstrate your complete surrender and emotional dependence of her approval.

As soon as you notice her trying to administer one of these shit tests, you must either not comply or put her in her place by giving her a compliance test of your own.

Always give her a way out of her transgressions. Let her know that she is out of line and if she does not fall back and behave, that there will be consequences that you make clear at the time of the infraction. I know this sounds kind of harsh and most nerds have no experience exerting authority over a woman, but it’s just one of those things you will have to learn to successfully manage your relationships.

Common examples of shit tests:

  • “Will you hold my (insert any number of clothing articles, accessories, etc)?” Unless she has a very legitimate reason, like she has to use the restroom, don’t acquiesce.
  • “Why should I carry your (insert any of your personal belongings, purchases, etc)?” As long as you are reasonable because you are holding more than you can carry, she should help.
  • She tries to take you to the poor house by ordering everything off the menu or the most expensive chardonnays on the wine list.
  • She tries to make you sit there as she blatantly flirts with other males in your face. Your lack of response is most effective in this situation.
  • She makes you wait excessively (over 10 minutes) for her to get ready, go to the restroom, put on make-up, write an e-mail or any number of things she needs to accomplish while in your company.
  • She takes lengthy personal calls in front of you. Business calls or very short calls are permissible.
  • She texts other guys while with you.
  • She tries to tell you when to take care of your personal hygiene (when you should shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair etc.)
  • She makes a scene in public by raising her voice, speaking in a condescending fashion, screaming or throwing things. This is all done in an effort to publicly shame you as she then sits back and watches as societal pressure compels you to apologize or modify your behavior.
  • She sends you on errands to take care of her personal business. These include things like asking you to stand in line at the post office, buy her groceries, walk feed or clean up after her pets, build furniture, make her bed, or help her clean her kitchen and/or bathroom.
  • She tries to tell you what kind of clothes to wear. You are not her doll and you have your own style. She can make suggestions by telling you something looks good on you, but under no circumstances are you to allow her to tell you what to buy or what to put on.
  • She tries to withhold sex (after you’ve been getting it for sometime). This is the oldest trick in the book. She may claim she has a headache or all of a sudden she’s not in the mood or started her period early. The excuses are many, but the goal is the same; to make you beg and grovel like the whipping boy she wants you to be.
  • She gives you the silent treatment. This passive aggressive move is designed to make you break down and apologize for something you may have done to upset her. She will silently relish in your attempts to guess what it is that upset her.

By the way, we have compiled the best responses to the most common shit tests (also called compliance tests) in the Got Pickup Lines app.

Consequences You Might Consider (girls hate these).

boyfriend playing videogameTell her that unless she obeys, she will have to walk home. Be prepared to enforce this one as many women will try to call your bluff. Once you give her a chance and she continues to act childish tell her she’ll have to find her own way home. Drive off and do not look back or drive back under any circumstances. You must prove that you are true to your word.

Tell her you will block all communication with her for (3 days, 1 week, 2 weeks – the punishment must fit the crime). If you use Google Voice, as I suggest you do, you should have no problem blocking her calls. You can even leave her a personalized outgoing message that says something like, “Tracy, I hope you won’t behave like that stunt you tried to pull the other day. I’m not mad, just disappointed in your childish behavior. I will not answer your calls until (insert date here). Have a nice day.” Likewise, you can use an app called “AutoReply” to send auto replies to her texts to include a message such as, “Your texts are on hold and will not be read by the recipient until (insert date here) – This is an auto-reply.”

Rules for Not Being An AFC

Don’t put her on a pedestal. Don’t shower her with compliments every time you see her. One or two upon greeting her should suffice. Don’t restrain yourself from looking at other girls. If she calls you out, say something like, “ Yeah she’s pretty, but not really my type.”

Don’t always be agreeable. A woman respects a man with his own opinion and values. If you disagree with her, don’t be afraid to let her know. Give her a logical reason why she’s wrong and don’t kowtow to her tantrums.

Don’t help her with mundane tasks. She needs an oil change? You can tell her where to go, but don’t take her car in or do it for her. Never do her laundry or her grocery shopping.

Don’t make yourself always available. Don’t let her believe that she is the first priority in your life. You have too many other passions in life to make her the center of your universe. If you make plans to see her, make her fit your schedule, not the other way around. Don’t always be accessible on the phone. Train a girl to wait for your texts by not responding to her texts when you’re busy. Also, don’t care about when she gets back to you. This way you project the image of a boss who has a lot going for himself other than just her. She’ll read this as value.

Always maintain sexual tension. Most women won’t even produce the arousal to fuck a man unless they believe he will go to fuck somebody else. Never state this, but always make her think that you are untamable and she doesn’t have a hold on you. The secret to maintaining sexual tension is to be spontaneous and unpredictable. Have sex in strange places. Stop the car somewhere and take a walk for no reason. Make outrageous statements and do ridiculous things to amuse yourself. Practice push/pull and takeaways to keep her emotionally alert and craving attention.

Practicing these simple rules should keep her interested in you as most women want to figure a guy out and prove to themselves that they can own him. You are constantly showing her that you are a different breed of stallion that cannot be tamed, and it is that challenge that will you between her sheets and out of AFC land, or worse, the dreaded friendzone.

If you enjoyed this article, checkout The Right and Wrong Way to Neg.

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